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Why We Don’t All Get Along & 4 Ways To Survive!

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Quite simply because we ARE all different!

So here’s a scenario and it’s based upon what someone might say to another “Don’t Take Things So Personally”.

Karen and Joanne have become friends because they share a common interest.

Karen, with her Artemis Goddess/archetype qualities, is an independent character with a tendency to be emotionally distant at times.  This is just the way she is, she concentrates so hard on herself and her own life that she doesn’t always think about the feelings of others.

Joanne on the other hand, has more vulnerable Goddess/archetype qualities and can feel victimised quite easily.  When this emotional distance comes up between these two friends Joanne with her vulnerable archetype may take it personally, feel upset and let down because of what she perceives as Karen’s distance.

What are the Lessons?

We can all get triggered by everyday stories and events when they hold an emotional charge for us and remind us of a previous story, one which we might not even remember happening.   Joanne in this scenario has an old story which is being triggered by Karen’s distance.   When she feels the distance in their relationship it brings up past traumas when she may have felt others did the same and may have let her down.  Whatever emotion is attached to her old stories will come into this one in the present moment.

This will remain the same for her unless she decides to change the charge in these types of stories.

On the other hand the Artemis archetype being totally unaware of the effect she is having just carries on being herself un-knowingly causing her friend upset.

In fact if she did find out she might tell Joanne to “Not Take Things So Personally”.  Red rag to a bull for poor Joanne until she gets rid of her old story!

So what can we do?

Working on our stories and realising why we get triggered brings awareness.  Journaling is a great start and will bring us freedom from our victimhood.   Trying a tool like EFT can  help us take the charge from our stories.

2 Communication is vital in relationships.  If Joanne remains passive aggressive and not assertive, her friend will not be aware there is even an issue.

Be willing to change. If Joanne does pluck up the courage to speak to her Artemis archetype friend Karen, Karen then has a choice.  She can either listen to her friend and appreciate that this is a quality that is part of her make up.  She may feel it is something she may wish to have more control over so as not to upset people or, on the other hand she may go into her more destructive quality of cutting Joanne off, not accepting she has had anything to do with the situation.   In this case Karen has taken it personally and has not owned her own personality traits.

Joanne will have worked on her story too, having taken the first step to talk to her friend and maybe tell her friend she knows she is sensitive and is working on it!

4 Learn compassion and empathy.  This does not mean we have to take on the troubles of others it just means we appreciate that we are not all the same.  Learning not to judge others so quickly without knowing them is growth for our own personalities.

We always have choices and, our choices always have consequences.

If you would like to study more about Goddess archetypes and qualities you can check out my upcoming workshop here.   We can gain a great insight into why people may be the way they are when we learn from the great Goddesses and begin to learn to “Not Take Things So Personally” !

Until next time …. keep the faith,

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Empowering and Assertive Coach, Energy Worker and Owner of Irishhealthhour.

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5 Ways To De-Clutter Your Chakras

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Your chakras are a part of you, they are your energy centres.  Just like blood flows through your veins and arteries energy flows through your meridians and energy centres. Some of the chakras are located along the ganglia of nerves located along the spine.

This is why you can feel butterflies in your tummy when you get anxious or you may feel a twinge in your heart if someone hurts you.  You are actually feeling the emotions in your enegy centres.    It is in the chakras that negative emotions (or what you perceive to be negative emotions) and beliefs about yourself can become blocked.

When you become familiar and be-friend your own energy centres you will find out what needs to be de-cluttered in each of them so that you can get the results you are looking for.

Here are 5 tips to de-cluttering the chakras.

1     See the reality of your stories. Did you ever step back from a story and realise that you were seeing it in a way that didn’t really reflect the true situation? Maybe you hadn’t realised that the missing piece of information you needed was there, right in front of you but, because of the clutter on top of it you couldn’t see it?

When you work with de-cluttering your third eye chakra, in the centre of your forehead, it is like you are pulling back a curtain to see the actual truth.   You begin to see the reality and can then choose which actions to take in the future to make your stories better for yourself.

Get stuff out of your head. You may really want to get a work project off the ground but find that it is all in your head. You might always be described as someone who is very “heady” or “very intelligent” but perhaps this stops you at times from grounding something.   You may find you have no problem with getting the ideas together but when it comes to actually doing it .. you can’t seem to get it done.

If you want to learn to ground your projects into reality you can work on the first chakra which has to do with bringing your projects into the world, birthing them almost.

3   Open your heart. Perhaps you find that you always get stopped by the same old emotion each time you enter a relationship.   Maybe you are actually sabotaging yourself and you don’t realise it.

An old wound in your heart chakra can cause it to close down and you will not then be able to receive the love that you deserve.   This is something that people do unconsciously of course.  When your heart gets closed down, it needs to be opened again so that the light can get in.

4.  Speak up and be assertive. A very common energy centre or chakra that may be blocked is your throat chakra. Have you ever wanted to tell the world what it is you actually do but find you hide away and talk about anything else but your business?

You can work through the issues stuck in your throat chakra and release them so that you find yourself able to tell everyone your story.

Everyone has a story to tell and the world will be a better place when you learn to tell yours!

You are the co-creator of your life.  Perhaps you find it hard to believe that you can be the co-creator of your life.   You might dismiss theories, books and wonderful stories that you hear, thinking it is a lot of rubbish!

When you work your way up through the chakras and release what no longer serves you from your own energy body, you realise that you actually do create your own reality, whether you like it or not.

You can join me on a 7 week on line course through the chakras in September.   You can get the Introduction lesson free on signing up here.   Each week we will work on a different chakra, do a meditation to help with it and also use an essential oil which will bring help on the emotional level we need for that particular chakra.   Here is the link

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Owner of IrishHealthHour, EFT Master Practitioner, Assertive and Empowerment Coach and Essential Oil Lover.

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6 Ways To Shift Those Monday Blues!

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We have the power to shift what kind of a day we are going to have on a dime (or a cent!!)!   It’s about our attitude and how we decide to approach the day in the midst of whatever curveballs life has thrown at us.   And of course no it isn’t always easy .. here are a few quick tips to help!

M  … Motivation .. even if you feel like no muscle in your body will work today .. not even the one in your brain – fake it!!   You know what they say – fake it ’till you make it!!

Becoming aligned to the vibration of motivation will change what otherwise may turn out to be a non productive day to a highly charged motiviated one!  Go on give it a try!

O .. On yer bike!   Or any other type of exercise will do!   Exercise gets the body going, gets everything pumped up and we can feel like tackling anything after an exercise session.   Or if you end up feeling worn out – remember keep motivated and start over!

N … Nothing ventured nothing gained.   Go on and just do it!  If there is something on your to-do list that gets brought forward day after day, do it first today .. you never know what will come out of it!

D … Day Dream.   Day dreaming is allowed even for grown ups, dont mind anyone who tells you otherwise!!!

Day dreaming about our goals allows the imagination soar, limitless and boundless without the ego telling us we can’t, we shouldn’t or who do we think we are!    Write down your day dreams and dream big without limits!

A … Affirm.   Affirm what you want from your day.   I choose to be happy today, I choose to relax today, I choose to get out of my comfort zone and take on the dragon of fear!  Whatever you affirm believe you can .. and then you will!

Try adding some EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to your affirmations and watch those blocks resolve!

Y .. Yawn.   Yea, yea I know but yawning is good for us.  Pop into a coffee shop and start yawning and see how many peole you affect!!!   Yes it’s contagious but a good yawn plus a stretch lets us lengthen our body and take in more air.

In fact it is taught in medical schools that we yawn because oxygen levels in our lungs are low.  So when you start a yawning crisis in your local coffee shop you are doing them all a favour!

Happy Monday and as always .. keep the faith,

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Owner of IrishHealthHour, Author, Energy Therapist, Essential Oil Student.

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Kick out the Auto Pilot and Take Back Control of Your Health!

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Have you ever been going somewhere and when you reached the destination wonder how you got there? Do you find you do not remember passing an important landmark en route? Worse still were you actually driving the vehicle?

When you allow the auto pilot of your mind take control, you may find you become more of an observer in your life as it passes you by and, this can include your health and wellness.

You may say; “I don’t remember what I ate yesterday or the day before, I just ate what was there”. Or “I can’t remember the last time I went for a walk”.

You can kick that autopilot out though and decide to become mindful and take the controls firmly back into your hands.

To become mindful is to become conscious of what you are doing in any given moment.   In a nutshell being “aware” of the choices you are making. It is stopping and noticing what you are doing.

This can be done in relation to what you are eating, how you exercise and above all is the key to unlocking your mindset.

Mindful eating.

In such a busy, social media, technology age many of us don’t take the time to eat well; you may say you don’t have time! You may prepare the dinner listening to a pod cast, or you might opt for a take away.   Whichever choice you pick be mindful or aware of it.

You can make a choice though to switch off the pod cast, leave down the phone and tune in to the act of preparing your food and you can choose what you are going to eat in a more mindful way.

This process of slowing down helps your mind clear the clatter momentarily; you focus on one thing and what you want the outcome to be;

“What am I going to choose to eat”.

It allows space for new ideas to come in.   Maybe you will remember a healthier choice you have in the cupboard.   Maybe you will remember the advice someone gave you about a particular type of food   Being mindful takes you from autopilot to being an aware person in charge of what you are eating.

Mindful exercise

When you become mindful of eating more healthily and making choices that are better for you this can open up your mind for the possibilities of making better choices in relation to exercise.

Whether you decide to take the stairs at work instead of the lift or walk the 5 minutes to the bus stop instead of driving do it mindfully.   If your children are with you give them your full attention, if you are alone count how many breaths it takes for you to do each step.

This is a simple mindfulness practice and brings you right back to the present moment.   You only have one thing on your mind and you are allowing yourself be present with that one thing.

You will see the benefits of these simple practices straight away and it may even entice you to walk more or to take up another form of exercise as a way of releasing the mind from the burdens that weigh you down.

The burdens may very well be there after the exercise but your mindset will be so much more positive and you will be able to take on challenges and obstacles in a more mindful way.

It is never too late to grab the steering wheel back firmly in your hand and plot the route you want to take and the type of food you want to eat while you are getting there.

The first step may be hardest but the results are mind changing!

Until next time … keep the faith,

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Owner of IrishHealthHour, Energy Therapist, Soul Care Practitioner and Essential Oil Lover

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3 Ways to Practice Self Love based on universal Mindful Techniques

 

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We are told often enough that we cannot love another until we truly begin to love ourselves.

How do we begin that journey to self-love?   If we have deep-rooted beliefs about ourselves, for example if we feel we are not lovable or, if society or others have made us feel this way, then it can be a real journey of discovery to find our truth.

When we accept that love is not a destination to be reached but literally a way to walk in life, then we can truly start a journey to self-love.

*            Decrease violence in oneself.

When we speak about violence towards ourselves this can mean violence in many, many forms. Perhaps we use violent self-talk towards ourselves; telling ourselves we are not good enough or maybe we blame ourselves for the actions of others.

When we start to unravel our stories around this self-talk we can begin our journey to healing and to self-love.   We are, each one of us, entitled to receive love. We may have been hurt many times in the past but this does not mean we are not entitled to be loved.   Maybe the people we have fallen in love with are not capable of giving us love or, of giving us the love we need.   Maybe their beliefs about themselves hold them back from truly giving.

We can accept this fact and forgive ourselves for loving someone who was not capable of giving us love.

* Develop the practice of deep listening.

When we listen to what our body needs and what our emotions are telling us we can take the steps to align ourselves with self-love.

If our default emotion is anger, then maybe our anger is trying to tell us that we need to build stronger boundaries. Maybe our sadness is telling us that we need to listen to our gut instinct and let someone or something go.   Maybe our back pain or pelvic problems are telling us we don’t have enough support in our life and that we need to surround ourselves more with supportive people.

When we hone in and really listen we will begin to realise that self-love starts with listening to ourselves and not to others.

* Avoid using toxins and poisons.

When we use toxic substances in excess in order to fill gaps in our heart we are not respecting ourselves.   It is an act of self-love to realise that toxins and poisons won’t mend a broken heart.   If we stop and find the reason our heart is broken and take steps in ourselves to mend it, we have a better chance of not needing to rely on anything else to fix or heal us.   We will have realised that the power is inside us all the time.

Mindfulness brings us into the present moment but it also brings us to a place of where we are consciously looking and listening to what our body really needs.   When we listen to what our body needs and wants and act on these signals and messages we begin the journey of walking a life based on self-love that will seep out into all areas of live and have a ripple affect on the way others treat us.

Until next time; keep the faith Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Owner of IrishHealthHour, Soul Care Practitioner, Author and Essential Oil Lover.

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What Chakras Are In A Nutshell!

Chakra pic mineAs well as having a physical body that is made up of what we can see, like our bones and organs, we also have an emotional or energy body which is not visible to the naked eye but which can certainly be felt, as it is here that our feelings and emotions reside.

Blood flows around our physical body in veins and arteries and energy flows around our emotional or energy body in meridians and through energy centres called chakras.

When we do an energy therapy like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or Reiki we are tapping into this energetic body releasing any stuck energy or trapped emotions and beliefs.  Emotions are also made from energy (e/motion – energy in motion), it is here that those emotions we do not deal with are stored.   Because the emotional and physical bodies are so closely related when we cause a change in our emotional body we are in fact causing an effect on our physical body as well. For example if we clear stress from an area of our body that feels tight like our shoulders, we are loosening this area on a physical level as well as releasing the stress from the emotional body.

The chakras act as energy centres, each energy centre being a centre, which processes a different awareness.   We can liken this to when we go to a shopping centre or mall and go to different shops for different things we want to buy.   For example if we are looking to work with self esteem issues then we go to the chakra which processes this energy type. If we struggle with speaking our truth (throat chakra) or standing in our power (solar plexus) we go to the relevant energy centre where we can specifically focus on getting rid of any energetic blocks there.

Starting at the root chakra is a great option.   The root charka is our foundation and has a lot to do with what we would consider survival issues for example the right to be here and to belong.

There is a verse in the The Cold Play Song Viva La Vida that describes a journey without a good foundation.   It goes.

“One minute I held the key

Next the walls were closed on me

And I discovered that my castles stand

Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand”

When our foundations are not solid our journey won’t be so easy.   If we have a good foundation, which is based on trust, and we feel we have a right to be here and belong then our journey will be from a secure place and we will better be able to ride out tough times when they happen to us.

We can get clarity about where we are stuck in our life by looking at the chakras as a template. We can ask ourselves questions that are relevant to each of the chakras and see for ourselves what areas we can work on to help us in a particular situation.

Flowing energy is what we want to achieve. We want to be able to have all the experiences that life has to offer, whether we perceive them good or not but ultimately we want them to flow while not getting ourselves stuck as we go along.

Sometimes one of our chakras can become “excessive” in its energy. This means that we have an excess of energy here and need to let some of it go. Also we may need to relax more in relation to any particular energy centre.   An example could be excess in our power centre where we power over others, whether we mean to or not.   This excess of power over others will not lead to balanced relationships.

In relation to the first chakra maybe we need to eat less or work less.   We look at ways to bring balance to whatever in our life needs balancing.   Getting structured in this way is a very first chakra related activity!!!

On the other hand our chakras can be deficient or not have enough energy so they are not in a state of balance. In this case we allow our chakra to receive whatever it needs to receive or we may need to hold onto something in a particular chakra. For example in the heart chakra we may need to allow ourselves receive love and hold onto good feelings about ourselves.

The Chakras

  • There are seven major chakras; five aligned along our spinal chord, one in our forehead and one at the top of our head.
  • Each chakra has a different focus of awareness.

Root chakra deals with our survival needs; our grounding. Element Earth.

Sacral chakra deals with our passion for life; our creativity and is our emotional centre.   Element Water.

Solar plexus deals with our will, our personal power and moving forward with purpose. Element Fire.

Heart chakra is our centre of unconditional love and compassion for self & others. Air.

Throat chakra is about communication & being able to speak our truth & hear others. Element Sound

Third eye chakra is imagination & knowing what we know/wisdom/gut instinct. Element Vision.

Crown chakra The awareness of this centre comes from a place of knowing. We have a belief that things are possible and we have transcended fears and work more on our desires.   Element Thought

When we go through a journey of the chakras and reach the crown we come to the realisation that we can actually break through any barriers that are in our life that are keeping us stuck, we have learned to let go of old wounds and the habit of either living in the past or the future and we are able to be in the now, where all the change happens.   We can see things as they really are.

We have learned to be our authentic self with good boundaries in place, we have focused attention on what we want and where we want to go and, we are able to navigate our emotions.

We can use essential oils or crystals as tools in our journey through the chakras if we desire.

For more information on studying chakras with me click here.

Until next time, Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Owner of IrishHealthHour, Health and Wellness Blogger, Energy Therapist and Soul Care Practitioner.

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It’s a Mindset Thing – 4 Steps To Freedom!

Mindset and being mindful are real buzz words at the moment and in my opinion, rightly so!  Every time I get stopped in my tracks in the middle of a project, a conversation or anything that makes me shrink back into my shell, I know I am getting stuck in my mind!

I teach mindfulness and emotional intelligence to children and it is wonderful to see how they react when they realise that by changing the way they act they can get a better result for themselves!   Children are like sponges and in general until about the age of 11 will gladly participate in cool ways to explore their mind!  

Number 1 for me in relation to mindset is simply awareness.   I am talking a real awareness that it IS a mindset thing.   Just say out loud, or in your head, next time you shrink from something; feel like you are not good enough or decide to give up on a project.   It’s a mindset thing!    That 2 seconds it takes to say this to yourself is enough to stop the mind clatter and to bring you back into the present moment where all the action is happening anyway.    It’s a mindset thing.

Number 2 Name it, if you can!   What is it that is stopping me?   Where is it located … hint can you feel it in your stomach, in your head, in your heart, what does it make you feel like?  Do you feel unworthy, too tired, too overwhelmed, too under educated?    

When you name something, although you limit it somewhat, you get an understanding of what it is you can work on.   Maybe you need a rest, a walk, maybe you need to take a course or maybe you are letting what you think other people think about you fuel your actions!   Even the realisation that you are giving your power away like that may be enough to make you think twice!!!  It’s a mindset thing! 

Number 3 own the story you have now discovered.   You don’t have to tell anyone but just own it or in other words, admit it to yourself.   If you decide to tell someone make that be a decision for yourself.   Bear in mind you may get someone else’s judgement about your story!

When you own the story you are taking your power back over it.   You have confirmed to yourself that it is a mindset thing and you then have the choice to change it!

Number 4 is taking action.    You have become aware of it, named it and owned it, the only thing left to do is take action.  Yes this is the getting out of the comfort zone bit, the pushing through the barriers, the overcoming fears, the putting up boundaries to protect your self worth, developing better self worth and so on.

There are lots of self help tools to help us along the way to taking action.  Here is a complementary lesson on Emotional Freedom Technique, or maybe you would prefer a chakra meditation.   And yes for those of you that know me, there is an oil for that!!!

Until next time … know that it is a mindset thing and mindset things can be changed!

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Empowerment & Assertive Coach, Energy Therapist & Soul Care Practitioner.