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Why We Don’t All Get Along & 4 Ways To Survive!

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Quite simply because we ARE all different!

So here’s a scenario and it’s based upon what someone might say to another “Don’t Take Things So Personally”.

Karen and Joanne have become friends because they share a common interest.

Karen, with her Artemis Goddess/archetype qualities, is an independent character with a tendency to be emotionally distant at times.  This is just the way she is, she concentrates so hard on herself and her own life that she doesn’t always think about the feelings of others.

Joanne on the other hand, has more vulnerable Goddess/archetype qualities and can feel victimised quite easily.  When this emotional distance comes up between these two friends Joanne with her vulnerable archetype may take it personally, feel upset and let down because of what she perceives as Karen’s distance.

What are the Lessons?

We can all get triggered by everyday stories and events when they hold an emotional charge for us and remind us of a previous story, one which we might not even remember happening.   Joanne in this scenario has an old story which is being triggered by Karen’s distance.   When she feels the distance in their relationship it brings up past traumas when she may have felt others did the same and may have let her down.  Whatever emotion is attached to her old stories will come into this one in the present moment.

This will remain the same for her unless she decides to change the charge in these types of stories.

On the other hand the Artemis archetype being totally unaware of the effect she is having just carries on being herself un-knowingly causing her friend upset.

In fact if she did find out she might tell Joanne to “Not Take Things So Personally”.  Red rag to a bull for poor Joanne until she gets rid of her old story!

So what can we do?

Working on our stories and realising why we get triggered brings awareness.  Journaling is a great start and will bring us freedom from our victimhood.   Trying a tool like EFT can  help us take the charge from our stories.

2 Communication is vital in relationships.  If Joanne remains passive aggressive and not assertive, her friend will not be aware there is even an issue.

Be willing to change. If Joanne does pluck up the courage to speak to her Artemis archetype friend Karen, Karen then has a choice.  She can either listen to her friend and appreciate that this is a quality that is part of her make up.  She may feel it is something she may wish to have more control over so as not to upset people or, on the other hand she may go into her more destructive quality of cutting Joanne off, not accepting she has had anything to do with the situation.   In this case Karen has taken it personally and has not owned her own personality traits.

Joanne will have worked on her story too, having taken the first step to talk to her friend and maybe tell her friend she knows she is sensitive and is working on it!

4 Learn compassion and empathy.  This does not mean we have to take on the troubles of others it just means we appreciate that we are not all the same.  Learning not to judge others so quickly without knowing them is growth for our own personalities.

We always have choices and, our choices always have consequences.

If you would like to study more about Goddess archetypes and qualities you can check out my upcoming workshop here.   We can gain a great insight into why people may be the way they are when we learn from the great Goddesses and begin to learn to “Not Take Things So Personally” !

Until next time …. keep the faith,

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Empowering and Assertive Coach, Energy Worker and Owner of Irishhealthhour.

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Kick out the Auto Pilot and Take Back Control of Your Health!

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Have you ever been going somewhere and when you reached the destination wonder how you got there? Do you find you do not remember passing an important landmark en route? Worse still were you actually driving the vehicle?

When you allow the auto pilot of your mind take control, you may find you become more of an observer in your life as it passes you by and, this can include your health and wellness.

You may say; “I don’t remember what I ate yesterday or the day before, I just ate what was there”. Or “I can’t remember the last time I went for a walk”.

You can kick that autopilot out though and decide to become mindful and take the controls firmly back into your hands.

To become mindful is to become conscious of what you are doing in any given moment.   In a nutshell being “aware” of the choices you are making. It is stopping and noticing what you are doing.

This can be done in relation to what you are eating, how you exercise and above all is the key to unlocking your mindset.

Mindful eating.

In such a busy, social media, technology age many of us don’t take the time to eat well; you may say you don’t have time! You may prepare the dinner listening to a pod cast, or you might opt for a take away.   Whichever choice you pick be mindful or aware of it.

You can make a choice though to switch off the pod cast, leave down the phone and tune in to the act of preparing your food and you can choose what you are going to eat in a more mindful way.

This process of slowing down helps your mind clear the clatter momentarily; you focus on one thing and what you want the outcome to be;

“What am I going to choose to eat”.

It allows space for new ideas to come in.   Maybe you will remember a healthier choice you have in the cupboard.   Maybe you will remember the advice someone gave you about a particular type of food   Being mindful takes you from autopilot to being an aware person in charge of what you are eating.

Mindful exercise

When you become mindful of eating more healthily and making choices that are better for you this can open up your mind for the possibilities of making better choices in relation to exercise.

Whether you decide to take the stairs at work instead of the lift or walk the 5 minutes to the bus stop instead of driving do it mindfully.   If your children are with you give them your full attention, if you are alone count how many breaths it takes for you to do each step.

This is a simple mindfulness practice and brings you right back to the present moment.   You only have one thing on your mind and you are allowing yourself be present with that one thing.

You will see the benefits of these simple practices straight away and it may even entice you to walk more or to take up another form of exercise as a way of releasing the mind from the burdens that weigh you down.

The burdens may very well be there after the exercise but your mindset will be so much more positive and you will be able to take on challenges and obstacles in a more mindful way.

It is never too late to grab the steering wheel back firmly in your hand and plot the route you want to take and the type of food you want to eat while you are getting there.

The first step may be hardest but the results are mind changing!

Until next time … keep the faith,

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Owner of IrishHealthHour, Energy Therapist, Soul Care Practitioner and Essential Oil Lover

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3 Ways to Practice Self Love based on universal Mindful Techniques

 

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We are told often enough that we cannot love another until we truly begin to love ourselves.

How do we begin that journey to self-love?   If we have deep-rooted beliefs about ourselves, for example if we feel we are not lovable or, if society or others have made us feel this way, then it can be a real journey of discovery to find our truth.

When we accept that love is not a destination to be reached but literally a way to walk in life, then we can truly start a journey to self-love.

*            Decrease violence in oneself.

When we speak about violence towards ourselves this can mean violence in many, many forms. Perhaps we use violent self-talk towards ourselves; telling ourselves we are not good enough or maybe we blame ourselves for the actions of others.

When we start to unravel our stories around this self-talk we can begin our journey to healing and to self-love.   We are, each one of us, entitled to receive love. We may have been hurt many times in the past but this does not mean we are not entitled to be loved.   Maybe the people we have fallen in love with are not capable of giving us love or, of giving us the love we need.   Maybe their beliefs about themselves hold them back from truly giving.

We can accept this fact and forgive ourselves for loving someone who was not capable of giving us love.

* Develop the practice of deep listening.

When we listen to what our body needs and what our emotions are telling us we can take the steps to align ourselves with self-love.

If our default emotion is anger, then maybe our anger is trying to tell us that we need to build stronger boundaries. Maybe our sadness is telling us that we need to listen to our gut instinct and let someone or something go.   Maybe our back pain or pelvic problems are telling us we don’t have enough support in our life and that we need to surround ourselves more with supportive people.

When we hone in and really listen we will begin to realise that self-love starts with listening to ourselves and not to others.

* Avoid using toxins and poisons.

When we use toxic substances in excess in order to fill gaps in our heart we are not respecting ourselves.   It is an act of self-love to realise that toxins and poisons won’t mend a broken heart.   If we stop and find the reason our heart is broken and take steps in ourselves to mend it, we have a better chance of not needing to rely on anything else to fix or heal us.   We will have realised that the power is inside us all the time.

Mindfulness brings us into the present moment but it also brings us to a place of where we are consciously looking and listening to what our body really needs.   When we listen to what our body needs and wants and act on these signals and messages we begin the journey of walking a life based on self-love that will seep out into all areas of live and have a ripple affect on the way others treat us.

Until next time; keep the faith Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Owner of IrishHealthHour, Soul Care Practitioner, Author and Essential Oil Lover.

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4 Ways to Build an Authentic Tribe in a Multi Level Marketing Biz

“Anything that gets your blood racing is worth doing”.

When you build a business from your authentic self and do what makes your heart sing then you naturally align yourself with like minded people who share your passion.    People buy people not products, your authentic way of doing business will attract your tribe to you.

Sometimes if a passion you have found is based on a multi level marketing model lots of things might come up for you to work through.   I was one of those people (for me it is essential oils) !   Why is this?  Because of your own stories around this model, or perhaps the stories you have heard from others.

1  Getting Out of Your Own Way

However if you are passionate about something, and the business model happens to be a multi level marketing company, you can often let this get in your way of going forward with your business.

You might form a story in your head around the whole scenario.   Maybe you feel people will run a mile from you because they think you are trying to sell them something!   The very fact that you are in a sales position may frighten the living daylights out of you!!!  You may tell everyone you are not a sales person.   You are literally standing in your own way.

You can ask yourself a very important question and by answering this question honestly you can shed light on your core beliefs.  What is wrong with working in a multi level marketing business?

Writing down honestly your story around it, will reveal to you the belief that may be holding you back.   You might realise you are giving your power away to someone else’s beliefs!!!!

2  Believe in your product.

If you sell products that you believe will benefit people then you are doing an injustice to yourself and others by not sharing them.   This is the way I feel about natural essential oils.  I have a knowledge and a belief that they offer a solution to a person’s health and wellness.   Does everyone want them?  Of course not but a lot of people want natural products and when I sell products I have the firm belief that the products will support and maintain their physical and emotional health.

If you struggle around belief in your product then maybe you are not selling a product in alignment with your soul purpose or the very essence of what you believe in.

3  Taking steps in alignment with your business

When you get out of your own way and do business because you believe in it you are doing business with purpose.  Helene Scott calls the actions you do to go forward “branding on purpose”.  You have identified your story, ascertained your reason for doing it (often known as “finding your why“) and each step you take is in accordance with this alignment.

You are at the same time growing and gathering your tribe and finding those that share your beliefs about the products you offer.   You are working in alignment with your story and those around you.  Everything you do is transparent and honest.

4.  Your digital footprint tells your story

If you love your business and your products and use them and blog about them and educate people about them, then people can begin to understand the story you are creating.   On the other hand if you are selling for the sake of selling and doing so without soul this is part of your digital footprint too.   People may “hear” you say one thing but “see” a different story.

Sometimes you may not even realise you are not in control of your business, it is only when someone tells you something, that you see past the story you have told yourself.  If you work on-line your digital footprint is there for all to see.   Each action you make tells a story, each blog you write tells a story.

If you don’t make each action one that comes from your heart you are not creating an authentic business nor are you attracting a tribe in alignment with your soul purpose.

To get out of your comfort zone takes courage and a lot of personal development but you will often hear people who work at their passion saying it doesn’t feel like work at all!

If you would like to work with me as part of my tribe educating and sharing natural essential oils please do not hesitate to contact me at irishhealthhour@gmail.com.

Until next time .. keep following your passion

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Essential Oil Lover, Chakra Teacher, Soul Care Practitioner, Owner at IrishHealthHour 

 

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What Chakras Are In A Nutshell!

Chakra pic mineAs well as having a physical body that is made up of what we can see, like our bones and organs, we also have an emotional or energy body which is not visible to the naked eye but which can certainly be felt, as it is here that our feelings and emotions reside.

Blood flows around our physical body in veins and arteries and energy flows around our emotional or energy body in meridians and through energy centres called chakras.

When we do an energy therapy like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or Reiki we are tapping into this energetic body releasing any stuck energy or trapped emotions and beliefs.  Emotions are also made from energy (e/motion – energy in motion), it is here that those emotions we do not deal with are stored.   Because the emotional and physical bodies are so closely related when we cause a change in our emotional body we are in fact causing an effect on our physical body as well. For example if we clear stress from an area of our body that feels tight like our shoulders, we are loosening this area on a physical level as well as releasing the stress from the emotional body.

The chakras act as energy centres, each energy centre being a centre, which processes a different awareness.   We can liken this to when we go to a shopping centre or mall and go to different shops for different things we want to buy.   For example if we are looking to work with self esteem issues then we go to the chakra which processes this energy type. If we struggle with speaking our truth (throat chakra) or standing in our power (solar plexus) we go to the relevant energy centre where we can specifically focus on getting rid of any energetic blocks there.

Starting at the root chakra is a great option.   The root charka is our foundation and has a lot to do with what we would consider survival issues for example the right to be here and to belong.

There is a verse in the The Cold Play Song Viva La Vida that describes a journey without a good foundation.   It goes.

“One minute I held the key

Next the walls were closed on me

And I discovered that my castles stand

Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand”

When our foundations are not solid our journey won’t be so easy.   If we have a good foundation, which is based on trust, and we feel we have a right to be here and belong then our journey will be from a secure place and we will better be able to ride out tough times when they happen to us.

We can get clarity about where we are stuck in our life by looking at the chakras as a template. We can ask ourselves questions that are relevant to each of the chakras and see for ourselves what areas we can work on to help us in a particular situation.

Flowing energy is what we want to achieve. We want to be able to have all the experiences that life has to offer, whether we perceive them good or not but ultimately we want them to flow while not getting ourselves stuck as we go along.

Sometimes one of our chakras can become “excessive” in its energy. This means that we have an excess of energy here and need to let some of it go. Also we may need to relax more in relation to any particular energy centre.   An example could be excess in our power centre where we power over others, whether we mean to or not.   This excess of power over others will not lead to balanced relationships.

In relation to the first chakra maybe we need to eat less or work less.   We look at ways to bring balance to whatever in our life needs balancing.   Getting structured in this way is a very first chakra related activity!!!

On the other hand our chakras can be deficient or not have enough energy so they are not in a state of balance. In this case we allow our chakra to receive whatever it needs to receive or we may need to hold onto something in a particular chakra. For example in the heart chakra we may need to allow ourselves receive love and hold onto good feelings about ourselves.

The Chakras

  • There are seven major chakras; five aligned along our spinal chord, one in our forehead and one at the top of our head.
  • Each chakra has a different focus of awareness.

Root chakra deals with our survival needs; our grounding. Element Earth.

Sacral chakra deals with our passion for life; our creativity and is our emotional centre.   Element Water.

Solar plexus deals with our will, our personal power and moving forward with purpose. Element Fire.

Heart chakra is our centre of unconditional love and compassion for self & others. Air.

Throat chakra is about communication & being able to speak our truth & hear others. Element Sound

Third eye chakra is imagination & knowing what we know/wisdom/gut instinct. Element Vision.

Crown chakra The awareness of this centre comes from a place of knowing. We have a belief that things are possible and we have transcended fears and work more on our desires.   Element Thought

When we go through a journey of the chakras and reach the crown we come to the realisation that we can actually break through any barriers that are in our life that are keeping us stuck, we have learned to let go of old wounds and the habit of either living in the past or the future and we are able to be in the now, where all the change happens.   We can see things as they really are.

We have learned to be our authentic self with good boundaries in place, we have focused attention on what we want and where we want to go and, we are able to navigate our emotions.

We can use essential oils or crystals as tools in our journey through the chakras if we desire.

For more information on studying chakras with me click here.

Until next time, Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Owner of IrishHealthHour, Health and Wellness Blogger, Energy Therapist and Soul Care Practitioner.

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5 Things that Stop Us Standing In Our Power & How To Change Them

We often don’t allow ourselves step into our power.   Allow might seem a strange word for me to use but at the end of the day the choice is always ours.   We can find ourselves in situations which we cannot change and have no power over, but we always have power over our mindset. And we always have a choice with our mindset! It is our very own hard wiring software that runs the show and is made up from stories formed by our experiences to date, possibly some inherited traits from ancestral heritage and how we perceive the world around us.

When we want to step more into our power the chakra or energy centre that governs this awareness, for the most part, is the solar plexus.   Just like our stomach metabolises our food to give us energy to do what we want to do, so too does our solar plexus metabolise our thoughts and emotions which fuel our actions.

So here are ways to truly begin the journey of stepping into our power.

  • 1 Feelings of not having the right to have.

The way we view ourselves around our basic right to have what we need and to have our basic needs met has a huge impact on the very foundations of our life.   We may feel like we did not have our basic needs met and past experiences may have re-enforced this.

While there are some things we just cannot change about our circumstances, we can change our mindset to one of being entitled to have our basic needs met.

Becoming mindful and quietening the mind can be a huge first step in this process.   We can start by closing our eyes, concentrating on our breath and allowing ourselves to just be.     In this moment we can allow our mind to start visioning what we feel we need in order to have our basic needs met. It is a simple exercise but can be a life changing one.

  • 2 Feeling not good enough.

How we feel about ourselves can be made up of lots of different stories, which have been formed in our mind by our experiences to date; what society tells us we should be like or should do.

How we digest all these stories has a huge effect on our mindset.   If we find ourselves stuck in a story that we want to change we can use this exercise.

Get a pen and paper, yes a pen and paper and not a computer or any other electrical device.   When we write we access our very essence, the authentic part that knows deep down that we are good enough.

Writing down a story that we are struggling with is a great tool. Circle the emotions that come up.   We can ask ourselves what are these emotions trying to tell us?

  • 3 An emotion arises that stops us in our tracks.

Our emotions are wonderful pieces of energy that direct us exactly to what we need to do.   Yes we can actually thank our emotions even the ones we call “negative”.   Our rages and our extreme sadness can bring us to the core of what it is we need to change in our life and step into our power.

Using a tool like Emotional Freedom Technique is a wonderful way to remove the charge of any emotion that seems to be causing a result we don’t want to keep having.

Remembering that emotions are just energy in motion is always a good thing.   We are not our emotions, they are merely pieces of energy and we have the power to tame them and turn them into powerful magnetising pieces of energy.

  • 4 Afraid to be seen in case it upsets others.

In her poem “Our greatest fear” by Marianne Williamson one of the lines says, “There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you”.

We all know the saying that what others say about us is a reflection of them and not actually a truth about us.   When we allow ourselves to shine and be seen we trigger stories in others, but that is their story not ours. We don’t have control over the mindset of others; we only have control over our own!

If we allow ourselves stay small so as not to upset someone we are giving our personal power away.   We can change our mindset to one of being an inspiration to others remembering that when we hold an intention that is where our energy will flow.

  • 5 Not allowing ourselves to receive recognition.

Subconsciously we can block ourselves from receiving what would otherwise allow us step into our power.   Old stories from our past may have caused us to put up defence mechanisms to block others from hurting us but instead of protecting us, at times they actually block us.   When we close down our wonderful heart centre we block ourselves from receiving all that we truly deserve in order to step into our own personal power.

For more information on working with me or to purchase my self-study on line chakra course contact me here.

Until next time …. Keep the faith,

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Assertive and Empowerment Coach, Energy Therapist and Soul Care Practitioner

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Don’t Take It Personally … 5 Tips To Help Us Cope!

In the wonderful inspiring book The Fifth Agreement Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz give a wonderful explanation of the importance of why it is good not to take things personally.

However there are times when we get off centre with this practice, well I know I do!!

The emotional labyrinth of life can have us stuck in the lost lagoon at times, where we feel a little lost and alone.   We may need to take time out and re access where we are and what we are doing.   Or we may find ourselves in the centre of the sea of sharks where at each point there is someone waiting to bite at our toes.   Maybe we are stuck here because we are standing up for something that we believe in and our views are shaking the core of other’s beliefs. Or we might be blissfully happy in the island of love, a great place to be but one that we need not stay stuck in either.    We need our emotions and feelings and different states to keep us moving.   Our feelings and emotions fuel our actions and where we are, in any particular moment will be triggered as such.

We can be having a sad day when memories of lost loved ones are embedded in our minds and from such a place a perfectly harmless (or not!) remark from another can have us in floods of tears.   Why?  One reason may be that our boundaries are down, we are not feeling grounded and therefore we are wide open to pick up the projections of others.

1 Keep moving.   No matter where we find ourselves, it is good to be there mindfully.   We do not want to get stuck in any particular state we want to take stock and then move on.   When we stay mindful to our moods and emotions we can learn what our body needs.  If we are stuck in sadness we may need to let something go.  When we are stuck in fear we may need to focus on what is frightening us.    When we are in a loop of anger we may need to put up some boundaries.   When we are mindful of where we are we are less likely to allow what others say to us hurt or offend.   We know where we are and we may have accepted that we need to stay here a while mindfully before moving on.

2  Protecting ourselves energetically.  When our guard is down and we are walking aimlessly and mindlessly through our days we are more likely to be affected by the opinions and projections of others.  So protection is important and we can do this in any way we want to.  We can visualise ourselves in a protective bubble where the harsh words of others can linger on the outside of our bubble and not affect us.   Eventually they will dissipate.  We always allow the good in, but with our intention we ask the negative to stay outside.

3 Grounding.   When we are grounded whether that be to the earth or the stars we bring ourselves into the present moment and are able to deal with whatever life throws at us in a more balanced way.   We may be better able to laugh things off or understand and intrepret messages better.  When we ground to the earth we can imagine ourselves like a tree with our roots firmly in the ground below, swaying with the howling winds but finding ourselves able to stand our ground and come back to centre.

4 Take it personally sometimes!!!!!  And what I mean by this is sometimes what someone is telling us is guiding us out of the lost lagoon or away from the sea of sharks.  Sometimes we take it personally because we are looking at a deception, one that we may have made ourselves.   This is nothing to be ashamed of, we can often live in a deception around a story where we only look at one side and fail to see the other.  Perhaps we are not aware of all the facts around the story and we have formed our own interpretation!!!    Sometimes the other person may give us a nugget of gold if we are brave enough to accept it!

5 Smile and be brave.  Even on the days when we are feeling vulnerable we can force a smile and allow a little light in.    Our brain can be fooled quite easily into thinking we are in a good mood .. that is why visualising ourselves in our favourite place happy works! .. so smile, be vulnerable and allow the world to smile and be brave and vulnernable with us!    And yes vulnerable and brave can be in the same sentence, in my opinion for, to be vulnerable you gotta be brave 🙂

Until next time …

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Soul Care Practitioner, Assertive and Empowerrment Coach and a vulnerable person at times who takes things personally!!!!