We are told often enough that we cannot love another until we truly begin to love ourselves.
How do we begin that journey to self-love? If we have deep-rooted beliefs about ourselves, for example if we feel we are not lovable or, if society or others have made us feel this way, then it can be a real journey of discovery to find our truth.
When we accept that love is not a destination to be reached but literally a way to walk in life, then we can truly start a journey to self-love.
* Decrease violence in oneself.
When we speak about violence towards ourselves this can mean violence in many, many forms. Perhaps we use violent self-talk towards ourselves; telling ourselves we are not good enough or maybe we blame ourselves for the actions of others.
When we start to unravel our stories around this self-talk we can begin our journey to healing and to self-love. We are, each one of us, entitled to receive love. We may have been hurt many times in the past but this does not mean we are not entitled to be loved. Maybe the people we have fallen in love with are not capable of giving us love or, of giving us the love we need. Maybe their beliefs about themselves hold them back from truly giving.
We can accept this fact and forgive ourselves for loving someone who was not capable of giving us love.
* Develop the practice of deep listening.
When we listen to what our body needs and what our emotions are telling us we can take the steps to align ourselves with self-love.
If our default emotion is anger, then maybe our anger is trying to tell us that we need to build stronger boundaries. Maybe our sadness is telling us that we need to listen to our gut instinct and let someone or something go. Maybe our back pain or pelvic problems are telling us we don’t have enough support in our life and that we need to surround ourselves more with supportive people.
When we hone in and really listen we will begin to realise that self-love starts with listening to ourselves and not to others.
* Avoid using toxins and poisons.
When we use toxic substances in excess in order to fill gaps in our heart we are not respecting ourselves. It is an act of self-love to realise that toxins and poisons won’t mend a broken heart. If we stop and find the reason our heart is broken and take steps in ourselves to mend it, we have a better chance of not needing to rely on anything else to fix or heal us. We will have realised that the power is inside us all the time.
Mindfulness brings us into the present moment but it also brings us to a place of where we are consciously looking and listening to what our body really needs. When we listen to what our body needs and wants and act on these signals and messages we begin the journey of walking a life based on self-love that will seep out into all areas of live and have a ripple affect on the way others treat us.