Don’t Take It Personally … 5 Tips To Help Us Cope!

In the wonderful inspiring book The Fifth Agreement Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz give a wonderful explanation of the importance of why it is good not to take things personally.

However there are times when we get off centre with this practice, well I know I do!!

The emotional labyrinth of life can have us stuck in the lost lagoon at times, where we feel a little lost and alone.   We may need to take time out and re access where we are and what we are doing.   Or we may find ourselves in the centre of the sea of sharks where at each point there is someone waiting to bite at our toes.   Maybe we are stuck here because we are standing up for something that we believe in and our views are shaking the core of other’s beliefs. Or we might be blissfully happy in the island of love, a great place to be but one that we need not stay stuck in either.    We need our emotions and feelings and different states to keep us moving.   Our feelings and emotions fuel our actions and where we are, in any particular moment will be triggered as such.

We can be having a sad day when memories of lost loved ones are embedded in our minds and from such a place a perfectly harmless (or not!) remark from another can have us in floods of tears.   Why?  One reason may be that our boundaries are down, we are not feeling grounded and therefore we are wide open to pick up the projections of others.

1 Keep moving.   No matter where we find ourselves, it is good to be there mindfully.   We do not want to get stuck in any particular state we want to take stock and then move on.   When we stay mindful to our moods and emotions we can learn what our body needs.  If we are stuck in sadness we may need to let something go.  When we are stuck in fear we may need to focus on what is frightening us.    When we are in a loop of anger we may need to put up some boundaries.   When we are mindful of where we are we are less likely to allow what others say to us hurt or offend.   We know where we are and we may have accepted that we need to stay here a while mindfully before moving on.

2  Protecting ourselves energetically.  When our guard is down and we are walking aimlessly and mindlessly through our days we are more likely to be affected by the opinions and projections of others.  So protection is important and we can do this in any way we want to.  We can visualise ourselves in a protective bubble where the harsh words of others can linger on the outside of our bubble and not affect us.   Eventually they will dissipate.  We always allow the good in, but with our intention we ask the negative to stay outside.

3 Grounding.   When we are grounded whether that be to the earth or the stars we bring ourselves into the present moment and are able to deal with whatever life throws at us in a more balanced way.   We may be better able to laugh things off or understand and intrepret messages better.  When we ground to the earth we can imagine ourselves like a tree with our roots firmly in the ground below, swaying with the howling winds but finding ourselves able to stand our ground and come back to centre.

4 Take it personally sometimes!!!!!  And what I mean by this is sometimes what someone is telling us is guiding us out of the lost lagoon or away from the sea of sharks.  Sometimes we take it personally because we are looking at a deception, one that we may have made ourselves.   This is nothing to be ashamed of, we can often live in a deception around a story where we only look at one side and fail to see the other.  Perhaps we are not aware of all the facts around the story and we have formed our own interpretation!!!    Sometimes the other person may give us a nugget of gold if we are brave enough to accept it!

5 Smile and be brave.  Even on the days when we are feeling vulnerable we can force a smile and allow a little light in.    Our brain can be fooled quite easily into thinking we are in a good mood .. that is why visualising ourselves in our favourite place happy works! .. so smile, be vulnerable and allow the world to smile and be brave and vulnernable with us!    And yes vulnerable and brave can be in the same sentence, in my opinion for, to be vulnerable you gotta be brave 🙂

Until next time …

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Soul Care Practitioner, Assertive and Empowerrment Coach and a vulnerable person at times who takes things personally!!!!


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