5 Things That Stand in the Way To Being Authentic

When we are being authentic we are being true to ourselves in a way that feels right for us. We have firm foundations and healthy boundaries. We don’t need to get entangled in negative agendas.

Unconsciously at times we can get in our own way.   Here are some pitfalls where we jeopardise authentic living: –

  • 1 Comparing Ourselves With Others

We can waste a lot of our energy plugging into other’s people lives checking out what they are doing and comparing ourselves to them in a negative way. No two people are the same and we are not meant to be…. it’s just the way it is!

Admiring someone for what they achieve and having positive role models is wonderful as long as we tune in, in a way that is authentic to ourselves.   We may then decide to mirror some of the qualities we like about that person but we follow our own path wholeheartedly and authentically whilst embracing those qualities.

We don’t always know what is going on in another person’s life.   The person we admire is likely to have his or her own trials and tribulations to get through. We can sometimes project onto others what we feel they have or don’t have but this is coming from us and not them.

Sometimes we just need to take stock and see the situation for what it really is.   Maybe we need to up skill ourselves, boost our self-confidence or feelings of worthiness. No amount of comparing ourselves with another will change us, it is only our actions that can do that.

  • 2 Allowing Someone’s Opinion Define Us.

When we allow the opinions of others define us we are giving our power away to them.   It is as if we are “a puppet on a string” and they are the ones pulling the strings. Not a nice thought is it?

An opinion is exactly what it is and whilst we are all entitled to opinions it is important not to live by someone else’s opinion of us.

Being authentic means doing something that feels right for us and sometimes those actions do affect others in ways they may not like.   We may upset the apple cart so to speak in a relationship, when we change from being the victim to being victorious. Ultimately the choice is ours; do we follow our path or allow others define it for us?

The demon of fear will most likely raise its head when change is on the horizon but remembering that being authentic is doing what resonates with us with good intent is paramount. Fear is just an emotion, it is energy in motion. It gets triggered at times to protect us, do we fight or do we flight?

In any situation ask what being authentic requires from us. Oftentimes courage is called for; the courage to speak out; the courage to make a leap of faith; the courage to receive.

  • 3 Following the collective crowd

Because everyone else is doing it, isn’t always the best reason to do something!   Life is not a one size fits all.   We all have our strengths and weaknesses and that is just the way it is.

When we are living authentically we are doing something because it resonates with us. It feels right and we are doing it because of this.   We may feel the collective crowd is looking at us; most likely they are but mostly it will be in admiration for our courage.

We may follow the collective because we see an outcome that we want for ourselves.   But again remember each of our paths will be woven differently; each with its own cliffhangers and golden beaches, all lessons to be learned and treasures to be found.   The path least travelled is often the one which offers the best co-ordinates.   We are all unique and can be proud to walk authentically.

  • 4 Not listening to our gut instinct

If it feels right inside then it generally is right!   How often do we say, “I should have listened to my gut”.   Our body has its’ own intelligence and is constantly sending us signals to guide us in the right direction.     If we are too busy or shut off from our body we won’t be able to hear these subtle messages.

Often times we will hear the words to a song that resonate or notice a bumper sticker on a car.   Robert Moss calls it “sidewalk tarot” and it is amazing to open to those messages.

If we are at a crossroads and don’t know which turn to take, tuning in to what feels right is often the only thing we need do.   If the result of our choice makes it good for everyone but ourselves we are falling into old patterns that may well be outdated and keeping us stuck and not allowing us move forward to live authentically.

  • 5 Trying too hard

When we try too hard we are forcing something to happen.   When we are aligned with our own (soul) agenda things come easier and without the tug of war feeling inside.   This doesn’t mean there won’t be obstacles but we will have the resources to deal with them.

Trying too hard usually indicates trying to do something to please someone else.   Are we trying too hard to be nice?   Are we trying too hard to be like someone we compare ourselves to?

Why not stop and just be ourselves?

Our uniqueness is what will make us shine not our sameness.

So today lets have the courage to stand out from the crowd and let our own light shine.   A small choice as long as it is ours.   Notice how the power is within all the time, we just need to harness it authentically.

Until next time,

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Mum, Health and Wellness blogger, Author, Soul Care Practitioner and co-founder of @irishhealthhour.

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