Allowing Our Elders The Right To Speak

As a thorat chakra survivor (lol) I have a huge desire to assist those who feel they don’t have a voice. The elderly through sickness sometimes can be very vulnerable in this area.   I watched my father, who was very ill in hospital recently, trying to talk but due to pain and medication was barely able to do so. I had no idea what he was trying to say to me and I knew at times he knew that too!!!

After coming out of a few days of delirium he recounted stories of where he had travelled to during this time; he spoke of motor bikes and having met Cleopatra, he spoke about the two black cats that were watching him having his MRI scan! (I am glad cats have nine lives!)   He also spoke of having a sore neck, complaining that everyone kept pulling him up and down off the bed and turning him around in bed hurting his neck in the process.   I am sure he would have loved to ask the person lifting him to do so with care and, I am sure if those moving him knew they were hurting him they would have gladly obliged.

Old age can often be a time when we talk to doctors over our elder’s head; almost like they aren’t there in the bed listening to everything that is going on. We often don’t do this consciously nor do we do it to offend them. We tend to speak louder to them at times even though they may hear very well. We can often find we spell things out if we don’t want them to hear; forgetting it is our parents and not our children we are dealing with (or maybe this is just me!).

Emotional issues can be huge for older people especially if they receive news of a terminal illness, one that comes on quickly and doesn’t interfere with their mind.   Their bodies may be frail but their emotional intelligence may be as clear as ever.   There may be a feeling of anger as they wonder “why me”, they may not want to talk to their families about this as they don’t want pity or false joviality.   This can have the effect of keeping them locked in their own world unable to speak about their situation even though their time may be limited.   Illness is a process to be dealt with and can be a lonely one for some.

Gentle massage and the aroma of essential oils can cross these barriers and, be a wonderful experience both for the person giving it and, the person receiving it.   The gentle touch of massage can communicate a sense of acceptance to them while an uplifting aroma can penetrate the despondency a person may feel.   When my Dad was refusing to take his medication last weekend during a hard time for him, I gave him a gentle hand massage with oils and eventually he became more calm and I encouraged him to take his medication. A bridge had been crossed and a barrier taken down.

Keeping the senses like touch and smell flowing are second chakra issues. When all our senses are kept free and flowing we are better able to allow our feelings and emotions to flow too.

Everyone needs to talk and everybody deserves to be listened to.   Too often when we are young we are told to be quiet if we express emotions and so we suck them up and hold them in.   Emotions stands for; e = energy and m = motion and to me that means keeping our energy in motion.

So let’s encourage our elders to talk, let them have their say and most importantly let’s not encourage too much medication unless absolutely essential.   Keep them feeling safe and secure as once they did for us, or if in your opinion they failed in this regard, see how blessed you are to have the strength to do it for them.

Until next time … keep the faith,

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Soul Care Practitioner, Author, doTerra Wellness Advocate (contact me at


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