I saw an example yesterday with my son of how emotions can become repressed and beliefs formed around experiences we have at a young age. My son came home from school upset and saying everyone hated him. He was crying in the car and said it was his worst day ever and that nobody would ever forget what had happened.
I stopped myself from telling him that everything would be ok and that people forget things.. as I realised I would be just dismissing a deeper issue that was going on. So I asked him to tell me what had happened.
He had been excited about a project that was going on at school and he had followed the rules but some had not (which happens when you are young!!!). He had pointed out this fact to someone in authority as he felt it wasn’t right. He felt upset afterwards that he had done this because of the way some of his fellow students reacted to him.
After I thought about it for a while I told him he had been very brave for standing up for what he had believed in and I did explain to him that he had had a choice and could have chosen either to tell or not to tell. I wouldn’t have had the nerve when I was his age to stand up for what I believed in and that is why I did not jump in with my views yesterday.. because that is what I would have been giving him .. my fearful way of sometimes seeing a wrong but being too afraid of what others might say if I stood up and spoke my truth.
What he could have internalised and what he did at the beginning was; to never stand up for what you feel is right. However after we chatted about it some more and went through the layers and questioned “Was is really that bad, or are you just tired and over reacting a small bit” he realised the power is in the now, not in the past, we cannot take back something we have said we just have to keep our chin up and move forward. We take a learning from what we have done; in this case for him was to know his truth and to stand by it but to realise sometimes if you don’t want certain consequences then make decisions that don’t bring them about, (as long of course that you are not compromising yourself which was not the case here). There is no repressed emotion then, there is a knowing of your truth and a conscious decision to not do something about it.
Hopefully if he ever finds himself in a similar situation where there are compromising consequences this experience will be the trigger that helps him realise there are always choices and that his internal compass will point him to the best outcome possible in any given situation.