We are all so busy today running and racing, going to work, running from meeting to meeting, catching a spin class after work, rushing our dinner, checking emails and other social media sites before putting the kids to bed, watching a “must see” documentary at 9 and collapsing into bed. A mother at home with her children getting the lunch boxes ready for school, doing the school run, the laundry, the lunch, washing dishes, another school run, homework, play dates, dinner, more washing up, bed time routine, catching up with emails and friends … and on and on and on. The carer who is in a giving role attending to the needs of another before attending to their own needs, and in some cases a 24 hour carer with little “me” time.
A lot of us spin through our days, our mind constantly in a state of alert as our brain jumps from one idea to the next, from one decision to the next then we go to bed and dream about it all … exhausting!
Even if there were roses there would be no time to stop and smell them.
If you stopped and thought about it you would be amazed at the needless thoughts that go on in our head on a daily basis, thoughts that drain our energy and are needless. “Where does she think she is going with those shoes”, the judgments “I bet he is an Accountant you would know by that suit” the limiting beliefs “I may as well not even bother applying for that course I will never amount to anything just like my father told me” …more thoughts over and over.
And then there are the roles that we play in order to get attention – just like the toddler who will throw himself on the ground of a supermarket in front of 20 people – adults play roles too. Like the role of being the victim – “Poor me” and the thoughts that accompany this and other roles and the drama that has to be undertaken to keep up the role. All more exhausting things we do to ourselves in every moment of every day.
And yet another energy wasting behaviour we have is to store grievances. Grievances are strong negative emotions with a connection to an event in the past which is being kept alive due to constant thinking and re-telling the story in our head over and over again. This is turn can have an effect on a circumstance which is happening in our lives now – and you bring up this old grievance to compare it with, to start thinking about it and so on.
No wonder so many of us are ill, suffer from stress, have insomnia or suffer from fatigue. We spend so much of our lives in the past or in the future and hardly any in the now. The now where are children are taking their first steps, the now when our sibling has a problem they need your help with but feel you are too busy to ask, the now where the old neighbour next door would benefit from a 10 minute chat, the now where your son feels like no one hears him .. not at school … not at home and they don’t because you are just too busy.
It is so important to find time for just being “present and in the now ” in our daily schedule. Not alone the health benefits but also the problems that get solved when we actually stop giving the problem solution after solution just in case the first one doesn’t work out! As Eckhart Tolle says “Stay fully present in the now—your whole life unfolds here. In the now there is joy of being and deep peace. Be present as the watcher of the mind. Just observe and feel—do not judge anything. Do not wish the present moment to be different from what it is. Make it a habit to feel your body from inside as often as possible. The body is always in the present. Don’t believe this, try it”!
It is the thinking of nothing, nothing that has happened in the past that you cannot change or the things that will happen in the future. It is being in this very moment in time, it is releasing the problems, the fears, the to-do’s and just focusing, this can be focusing on the sounds that are around you which might include a 7 year old fighting with his 5 year old sibling with the subsequent roaring, the cat being stood upon, the television volume trying desperately to be heard over the DSI volume, the 2 year old crying because .. well because they are 2 and can! In the now and with whatever is going on around you stop, and focus on this very moment where all is ok, where the ego is not in charge of your thoughts. Focus on your breathing if you like or not. Just be present and be still. The life you left will still be there when you go back to it .. the laundry won’t have gotten washed – I know miracles can happen but not quite laundry miracles!
So stop even if only for a few minutes every day .. stop and be present … reap the benefits …. stop and smell the roses before they wither and die..
And as always keep the faith,
Dolores Andrew-Gavin EFT, Quantum Touch and Reiki Practitioner