It is a well known fact that our childhood and the experiences we had have a huge impact on our current life, for example the way we act in certain situations and how we react emotionally. We could watch a movie and it might have a tremendous affect on us, it makes us want to scream, short or even cry, we want to turn it off and we just don’t know where these feelings have surfaced from. Discovering and re-connecting with our inner child can reveal a lot to us.
Children can feel defenceless because they have not yet mastered the coping mechanism that adults have, something like getting lost in an aisle of a supermarket can have a huge impact on a child and remain with us for the rest of our life! The feeling of abandonment can be hugely traumatic, “I have lost my mother, she is gone, I will never see her again, I am alone, I am terrified”. To a child this is real trauma as they cannot perceive it in the same way an adult perceives it.
As children we are taught not to fight with our siblings, not to fight at school, we are taught to have respect for our elders and our teachers – even if the teacher blames us for something we did not do, we are not allowed to just get up and leave the room and run to the safety of our home. The “fight or flight” responses are just not options. So if something happens and a situation arises where a child encounters a problem or a trauma, what can happen is that the problem or the trauma becomes internalised and frozen in time. It is the only option that the child may feel they have.
Such a strong frozen feeling like that of abandonment can then raise its head and manifest in aspects of our adult life – like for example having a fear of your partner abandoning you which could be played out ridiculously in your mind possibly going so far as accusing your partner of cheating – yes and it can be connected to that internalised frozen in time feeling of abandonment from the time you thought you got abandoned in the supermarket! It is frozen in the subconscious – which vibrates at a particular frequency. If something then happens later in life and this frozen memory is triggered, this then triggers a recall of the energy of the old incident creating that vibration and causing us to react the way we do and thereby attracting more of that which we have our attention on – we all know this from the Law of Attraction – you start getting more of what you are thinking about. Eek …
You may even know as an adult that you are behaving irrationally and this just goes to show that these frozen feelings are deeply embedded in the energy system and not just in the conscious mind. This in turn can lead us to have negative emotions about ourselves – negative emotions block up the second layer of our auric field causing stagnation there which affects the first layer of the auric field which causes problems and blocks the life force energy flowing smoothly to our physical body. We often too turn negative emotions into self judgments about ourselves – more blockages for our life force energy…
A person’s perfectionism in their adult life may very well have stemmed from a childhood issue. Perhaps perfectionism was insisted upon by their father or mother and the child associates “love from parents comes if I act perfectly”. An adult may then spend many, many years striving to have the perfect life, striving to have the perfect house all in exchange for what they expect to receive back – love. But it does not work like that. Love is everywhere and we don’t need to be perfect to receive it. What is perfect anyway? – it is just someone’s interpretation of perfection and if you asked 20 people for their interpretation you would most likely get 20 different answers.
Feelings of neglect in childhood can often manifest as neglect of one self in adulthood causing even physical as well as emotional problems.
We are conditioned when we are young and told how we should and should not act by society, by our parents, by television programmes and everyone we encounter. Don’t eat with your mouth open, don’t put your elbows on the table, stop laughing at this … pay attention to that, stop fooling around … sounds a bit like stop having fun! And sometimes when we are older we might as they say “let our hair down” and you know I think this is the inner child sneaking out for a bit of long overdue fun! We tend to look over our shoulder to see if someone is judging us because we got so used to being judged when we were young we don’t know how to have fun without looking over our shoulder as adults!
A first step to healing the inner child is to accept ourselves the way we are. We also need to get to know the inner child. Our inner child is an important part of us it shines through our personality with a sense of wonder and joy. Our inner child is part of our “real self” and discovering it and letting it just be is part of attainting “wholeness” as a person. Inner child work unlocks and heals the emotional wounds that we suffered as children and allows that which was frozen to thaw and finally ….be released.
Healing the Inner child frees up energy to enable us live a thriving life in the present moment. Energy work such as EFT is very effective for inner child healing. You can also check out workshops on inner child healing, just be comfortable with whom you are attending. The investment of your time to thaw out those frozen internal problems is a crucial part of moving forward with your journey in life. We are now in a time where children are being born more enlightened with indigos and crystal children being born and in order for us to parent these children adequately we need to first heal our own inner child.
So next time you see a puddle and you want to dance in it let the inner child out and just … do it.
Until next time … as always keep the faith,
Dolores Andrew-Gavin EFT, Quantum Touch and Reiki Practitioner