“Mammy are we there yet … Mammy Iarlaith hit me with the hurl…. Mammy Iarlaith looked at me sideways …” sometimes I feel like I am in a pressure cooker and hoping that someone does not release that pressure cap …I remember the noise growing up my own Mother did all the cooking in a pressure cooker .. and the sound of the steam blowing out … But thankfully I have discovered mindfulness a technique that won’t be as noisy or as messy as Mammy blowing her top! Well … I have just discovered it so am working very hard on it!! … “Mammy there is sand on my hand”, “Well we are at the beach ..” “Mammy ..” And here the mindfulness sets in ..
Being in a state of mindfulness means being in the present, not caught up with the stories that go on in the head .. “Here we go again another trip to the beach ruined I knew it would end up like this we should never have come ….. bla bla bla”. Nobody wins here, it just adds more stress and lets face it there is enough of that around. Hey it ain’t easy it takes practice but it’s so worth it.
Being in a present state means literally being in the moment you are in, and learning to be aware of what is going on, what emotions you have, how those emotions show up in your body (do you get a churning in your stomach when the boss calls you, do you feel like screaming when something happens yet again …). Learn to be aware and feel the emotion, feel where it is in the body, name it .. is it anger is it annoyance is it rage? Naming something is a distraction ok it doesn’t release it but it makes you stop and think about it and that causes you to be distracted for a little while.
A very interesting thought too .. resentment is frozen anger, frozen emotions can manifest as sickness and that is what we definitely don’t need. When an emotion comes up, feel it, acknowledge its presence and ride it out, don’t let it control you, don’t give in to the story that could be created “Well there you go, last time we went to Dad’s house the same thing happened, bla, bla, bla”. That is living in the past, the past is gone and can’t be changed. Don’t say “Well next time I will make sure that doesn’t happen… bla, bla, bla.” That is living in the future .. the future does not exist. The only thing that exists is the present. Be in the present moment.
Probably the easiest way to learn how to be mindful is to meditate but, its not the only way, you can be in a state of mindfulness doing anything – washing the dishes, cleaning the car, playing with your child .. its just about being in the here and now with what you are doing and giving it your FULL attention, it’s not worrying about something you did in the past or something you should be doing in the future .. “OK I am here playing with you but I really should get that report done for work”, … those things can wait and can be dealt with, with FULL attention too. Don’t waste time on the past .. energy expended on a past event or a past grievance is just … a real waste of time and energy! I am not saying you have to concur with someone that has done you wrong but at the end of the day, dwelling on it, being it and living it every day and wearing it on your shoulder … it does YOU no good. Be mindful, be present AND as always … keep the faith